Chi and Hai's Wonderful World of Naruto
by Super Stellar Lunatic
Summary: Full title: Chi and Hai's Wonderful World of Naruto In Our Minds. Rated T just in case. When Oni and Twentytwenty wake up in the Naruto Universe, they assume the new identities of Chitomo and Haipa and embark on a crazy-wierd adventure. Kind of stupid.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Neither does Oni. If we did... things would be different. Heh heh heh. LEETEN FOREVER (at least if I owned it)

Fair Warning: This is my first stab at a fanfiction in... um... maybe three or four years. So... just so you know.

_This is the story of two completely abnormal girls in a regular, average world (for now). Twentytwenty (which is Tenten multiplied by two) is me, the authoress. So things in the story happen MY way. Oni (which is Ino spelled backwards) is my sister-like best friend. The story will most likely NOT happen the way she wants. Like LeeTen. Because NejiTen is just wrong, man._

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_**Oni and Twentytwenty's Wonderful World of Naruto- In Our Minds!**_

_Prologue: In the Beginning: Enter Oni and Twentytwenty!_

So. Once there were two young women. Their names were Oni and Twentytwenty, and they were very mad-genius like in terms of creativity, both of them. Oni had short darker brown hair, kept down because you can't really do anything with short hair, and Twenytwenty had very long lighter brown hair kept up in pigtails, with a flop of her bangs (termed by these two as 'Inobangs') hanging over her left eye. Oni wore glasses, and Twentytwenty wore contacts. They were very similar, but still argued over things like shipments in their favorite anime/manga series EVAR- Naruto.

Twentytwenty absofreakinglutely heart-heart-HEARTED LeeTen. Oni was in complete disagreement and shipped LeeSaku and NejiTen.

Oni loved yaoi. Twentytwenty avoided it like the plauge. Except when it was included with LeeTen. Then she braved it.

Twentytwenty loved Gaara. Oni loved Sasuke.

Oni shipped real, actual shipments. Twentytwenty mainly shipped OCs.

So they argued. A lot.

One day, Twentytwenty slept over at Oni's house. She was on her laptop, spamming the history with LeeTen goodness.

_Fictions..._

_Pictures..._

_Clubs..._

_Sites..._

_..._

_Hey wait, this is a... cult?_

"Oni-neechama!!! I found a LeeTen _cult_!" she called.

Without even looking up from her video game, (Naruto: Ultimate Ninja 3!) Oni replied: "No."

"Aww, but looook..."

"You are not joining a cult. ESPECIALLY not a LeeTen cult. On MY computer." There was a scream, and TRY AGAIN! flashed on the gamescreen.

"Tutu! Come here and beat the Two Headed Wolf for me."

Twentytwenty put down the laptop and went over. "Well. No wonder you're losing. I mean, come on. Shino?!"

"I can't pick who I'm good at, Tutu." Tutu was the nickname Oni had given her. Like, you know... Twentytwenty.. 2020... 2 2... Tutu...

She swept the controller out of Oni's hands and selected Tenten. "What makes you think I can win everything? You always get me to fight the hard stuff."

Oni looked her square in the face. "Because. I played Gaara- _GAARA_!- and you still deafeated me."

Twentytwenty shuffled. "Well, come on. He's slightly slowish... and stuff..."

"You were playing as KANKURO, woman!!! That takes some freaky, unnatural talent to actually be able to WIN as him!"

"Meh..." Twentytwenty shrugged. "Luck?" She turned her attention back to the game.".......................................... WHAT THE FUDGESNAPPER?!?!?! JUMP, STUPID! I SAID JUMP! DON'T THROW THE SHURIKEN...! GYAHH!!!"

'Try Again!'

She sat there, flustered. "Oninee! I was... I... Jump button and.... Shuriken... Jump... JumpJumpJumpJUMP!" She pounded the X button on the PS2 controller. Oni looked over. "Wait a minute... That's not the jump... Oh! Right! I changed the settings so the controls matched the ones in Kingdom Hearts. So it would be easier for me."

So Twentytwenty reconfigured the settings so that she could easily open a can of whoopass on the Two Headed Wolf. Which she did. She then handed the controls back to Oni and went back to the laptop.

"You'd better delete all that LeeTen nonsense out of my history!"

"NOEZ! It is good FOR THE SOUL! I must purify you of your NejiTen sickness!"

"_NejiTen_ is amazing!"

"NO... NOOOOOOO!!!! LEETEN FOREVER!" Twentytwenty blinked. "Hey. What's this?" She clicked on the link that said 'Naruto's World!'

"If you crash my computer I will kill you."

"Oninee! COME HERE!!!" She had a shocked look on her face.

Oni ran over "Oh my God, Tutu, if you broke it..." she stopped. The screen was spinning and distorting itself in a crazed, psychotic manner. As wierded out as they were, they just couldn't take their eyes off of the swirl of color and light.

Suddenly, the screen flashes, and the color spiraled _out_ of the computer. Oni and Twentytwenty were sucked into the vortex, and then they both blacked out.

Twentytwenty twitched. It was dark. Very dark. The kind of dark she wished it could be when she tried to fall asleep. And she did fall asleep. And she dreamt. She dreamt of strawberry ice cream and magical firework-controlling scythes. She dreamt of intergalactic evil villians and the so-called 'heroes' who stopped them. She dreamt of herself in all her alter egos, each with various and unique powers. She dreamt of being a master spy and of talking badgers.

Pretty muchly, she dreamt of all the things Twentytwenty normally dreamed of.

Oni breathed slowly. It was dark. Very dark. She tried to remember how she had gotten there. Was Tutu going to jump out and scare her, as per usual? Musing the darkness, she drifted off to sleep. She dreamt in a haze, of blurred faces and slurred voices. Things were happening... what was happening? It drove her crazy. Where were her glasses? Wait. She could see something. A light...?

She dreamt many other things that made no sense.

"Myaaah... murmermurmer. Cliiiick....." Twentytwenty was vaugely aware of her voice.

"...Sensei. They're waking up."

A strange voice... _That's not Oni..._

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2020: Bear with me, ladies and children! I promise it will get better!

_NEXT TIME!_

_A Rude Awakening: A New Identity!_


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Still in the process of NOT owning Naruto...

2020: Uhm. It's getting late. Spontaneous urges kicking in.

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_**Oni and Twentytwenty's Wonderful World of Naruto- In Our Minds!**_

_Chapter One: A Rude Awakening: A New Identity!_

_"Myaaah... murmermurmer. Cliiiick....." Twentytwenty was vaugely aware of her voice._

_"...Sensei. They're waking up."_

_A strange voice... That's not Oni..._

Twentytwenty's eyes shot open. She was in... a field? Four people surrounded her. Oni's still body lay a few feet away. Her brain didn't even try to process Where or Who, or What, or How. She jumped up and let her natural instinct take over.

Which may or may not have been the best thing to do around strangers.

"Oh, yon Dorothy-eth, it is I who comes from across the Rainbow of Smiles where the Chronicals of Farmia lay and the Corn Field of the Lost, where corn is niiiiiiice and the lights dance about our lord the Log..." When faced with a problem or situation in which she needed more time to think things over, to analyze them, Twentytwenty split her mind into two parts. The intelligent part... and the other part. While the other part kept others occupied by speaking, singing, and performing stupidities, the intelligent part did intelligent things and thought of a way out of this mess.

The intelligent part of her mind wasn't even aware of the absurd things spouting out of her mouth. It calculated.

Oni was a few feet away. She was still... but there. She was breathing.

They were in a field. And there were no fields by Oni's house...

There were four people surrounding them and _OH MY GOD...._

Oni twitched. She heard Twentytwenty's voice saying the most unbelievably stupid things. Her glasses were gone, but she could see. The grass was soft underneath her body...

Wait a minute... grass?

She shot up.

_Oh my God..._

Twentytwenty blinked. Sheer shock had catapulted her intelligent mind back into unison with the other part of it.

Because surrounding them in the field was none other than Team Gai.

Maito Gai, Rock Lee, Hyuuga Neji, and Tenten.

From Naruto.

"TUTU!" Oni jumped on her friend. "Oh my God... it's... and they... with the... but... but but butbutbutbut...."

"ONINEE! I know... it's like... and all... not really... maybe dreaming?"

Which is scarier- the fact that they had woken up to see anime characters before them, or that they understood what they were trying to tell each other?

"Sensei..." Neji spoke. "Obviously they have been in some kind of accident and have suffered either severe physical injury to the brain, or some extreme mental disfunction is occuring inside their heads."

"Do you un-der-stand what I am say-ing?" Lee said loudly and clearly, accenting each syllable.

"WHAT in the hell is wrong with y-" Oni clapped a hand over Twentytwenty's mouth.

_THIS IS NOT A DREAM!!!_ She put great force into the thought, hoping Twentytwenty could divine it. She did. This was going to require some fast talking, but she could handle it.

"Um... we are, um... I'm Tsubasa Chitomo, yeah, and this is um, Okami... Haipa."

"WHAT THE-"

"_HUSH!_ Anyway, we don't know how we got here... one minute we were at our homes, and the next we're here." Oni finished truthfully.

Tenten eyed the two. "Are you sure you don't remember some type of battle?"

"Eh, no why?" Twentytwenty (who had just become Okami Haipa) realized the answer almost as soon as she asked the question. Both her and Oni (who had just become Tsubasa Chitomo)'s clothes were hardly more than scraps. They were intact enough to obscure the view of certain famale parts, but that was about it.

"EHHHHHHHH?!?!?! THIS IS MY FAVORITE PAIR OF NONDENIM PANTS!!! NOOOOOOEZZZ!" Haipa yelled.

While the two bemooned the loss of their clothes, Team Gai pulled into an impromptu team meeting.

"I don't think they're a threat." Tenten observed. The others nodded.

"Aside from a slightly erratic chakra flow and.... more than slightly odd behaviorisms, they are perfectly normal." Neji told them.

"Then we must assist them in the finding of new articles of clothing to wear!" Lee decided.

"Alright then, my students of YOUTH! Operation: Outfit the Strangers is now underway!" Gai flashed the 'Good Gai' pose, which Lee mimicked. Tenten chuckled, and Neji resisted the urge to regurgitate his lunch.

The newly-renamed Haipa and Chitomo had pulled into a meeting of their own.

"This is freaky, Oninee."

"It's _Chitomo_ now, idiot. You picked out the name. You should remember it."

"But why am I Haipa? It sounds like you're calling me hyper."

"You are."

There was a pause as the now-Haipa fiddled with a blade of grass. "So you're my Chinee now? No... it sounds wierd."

The now-Chitomo sighed. "How about, we're just Chi and Hai now."

_**(A/N See the origins of their new names below!)**_

"Tsubasa-san! Okami-san!"

"It will take getting used to..." Hai murmered as they turned towards the other four.

"Come on, there's a town up that way." Tenten indicated the direction they were set to travel in.

Chi was suspicious. "Why?"

She grinned. "One girl simply cannot let another walk around in such damaged clothes!"

Waling through the small town, Hai thanked God for her (un)natural instinct/talent of which made her carry her tote-like purse everywhere, and to stock it with essentials, such as candy, money, and other goodies.

Hai and Chi (still getting used to their new names) walked side-by side, folowed a few steps behind by Team Gai.

For some unexplicable reason, the town was poorly-stocked with clothes. The materials were rare, or the townsfolk liked to buy clothes... Whatever the case, the town had one small clothing shop, which Hai could tell without even entering had a meager selecton. She continued on down the road while Chi entered.

The store was slightly dim, but Chi didn't mind- it had clothes, and unlike catty Hai, she wasn't particular.

Fifteen minutes later, and she had put together a decent outfit- a light blue robe-like top, which was a little big on her. Very loose-fitting navy blue pants. The shopkeeper even threw in a navy blue obi-like sash, to help keep the top closed. She was grateful- its large size meant it was prone to folding open. Then it hit her. _How am I going to pay?!_ She looked at the shopkeeper. "Um. This probably sounds really bad, but I don't have any-"

A handful of currency was thrust at the shopkeeper. Chi blinked. Turning she saw Neji rolling his eyes and Gai flashing the 'Good Gai' pose. She thanked them as they went out the door.

_This must mean Lee and Tenten want with Twe- I mean Hai. Bet she's in ecstasy..._

Hai growled. "Is this some kind of fashion void? Because that's what it's like. A fashion void." Whatever comfort came of the fact that Lee and Tenten were _together_, behind her, was washed away by her increasing annoyence at the lack of suitable attire in the town. Suddenly she stopped. _I feel like I want to go... this way..._ She navigated a course through the town to a small store. The windows were blacked out, but opening the door, she saw it was lit by candles and smelled of ginger and sage.

"Welcome, my child." A gypsy-looking woman sat on a cushion in the middle of the store. She indicated to a cushion in front of her. "Come, sit. We have business to discuss. Tell your friends to wait for you outside.

Hai sat down and turned to relay the message to Lee and Tenten, but they had already gone out. Tenten wasn't fond of the smell of sage.

Not too long after, Hai exited. She had managed to barter a bunch of similar gypsy-type outfits from the woman. They were all lavender, all the tops showed midriff, and all the pants were the same billowy material, but it was OK.

These clothes were cool.

They regrouped after that. Hai and Chi showed off their new outfits to one another, and Gai decided it was time to head back to the Leaf Village. Neither Chi nor Hai realized that the fact was fading that they had not even been in this universe an hour ago.

And so, they began the half-day's journey back to the Leaf. Team Gai didn't ask questions of the strange newcomers. They would let the Godaime get all the answers she needed.

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2020: Longer. Is longer better? Feedback please!

The Origin of Tsubasa Chitomo and Okami Haipa

Haha. Well, one day me and Oni were screwing around on a dollmaker site, and I just randomly put toghether a little person. After about ten minutes, I had named her Tsubasa (surname) Chitomo (first name). Tsubasa being wings... and Chi being a myriad of different things (I've seen it translated as blood, energy, thousand, life, wisdom, and more)... and Tomo being freind. I told Oni, "This is you if you were in Naruto."

Well, Oni wouldn't let me have all the fun. She made a person, dressed all in light purple, and named her Okami (surname) Haipa (first name). Okami means wolf... Haipa is hyper... and Pa translates to lavender, she discovered. So she made up a really short story about Hai's life, and how she marries ------ (whoops sorry! almost gave it away)!

And there you have it. Get used to Chi and Hai... they're here to stay for a while.

The story title will be changed.

_NEXT TIME!_

_Welcome! The Strangers Meet Tsunade!_


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: OK, this gets depressing to repeat... I do not own Naruto.

2020: Goood morning world. Here is Chapter 2. It has been renamed to Chi and Hai's Wonderful World of Naruto In Our Minds

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_**Oni and Twentytwenty's **__**Chi and Hai's**__** Wonderful World of Naruto- In Our Minds!**_

_Chapter Two: Welcome! The Strangers Meet Tsunade!_

_And so, they began the half-day's journey back to the Leaf. Team Gai didn't ask questions of the strange newcomers. They would let the Godaime get all the answers she needed._

Chi had just amazed herself. She had kept pace with the ninjas for the entire journey back to the Hidden Leaf Village. Hai had kept up too, and to her credit, she had not slipped into her nervous habit of babbling about random things, as was her normal. She had been abnormally quiet, though, and Chi was getting a little worried. Actually, no one had talked much the whole time. She guessed they were all still confused about their sudden appearance.

_Wait a minute... sudden appearance... from where...?_ _Where were we before, then...?_ Why couldn't Chi remember? Where had they been?

Their memories of before they had entered this world were slowly fading.

Hai was impressed at the large wall. The six had arrived at the Leaf, after a half day's journey. She and Chi had kept up very well. Gai lead them inside and through the village to a large tower.

"The Hokage Tower", Neji told them.

Chi and Hai were told to sit in a room resembling a waiting room as Team Gai continued down another hall.

There was silence. "So, Chi. Is it just me or is it like, are we forgetting something?" Hai shifted nervously.

"You, too? I know we suddenly woke up and we were in that field, but before that..."

"... it's just blank."

"Yeah..." Chi looked aruond. "I also feel like I should know this place, but I know I've never been here before."

"Like maybe we've not been here... but seen here?"

"Yeah!"

A woman with very short brown hair entered the room. "Lady Hokage-sama will see you now."

The two were taken to a large room, in the center of which was a large desk and large chair, and an imposing-looking blond woman in the chair. "Shizune, shut the door on your way out." The woman commanded.

"Yes, Tsunade-sama." They waited as Shizune left and shut the door.

Tsunade turned her attention to Chi and Hai. "I am the Fifth Hokage of the Hidden Leaf Village, Tsunade. I hear from Gai that you are not sure as to how you appeared on that field."

Chi and Hai looked at each other. "Eh. Nome'm." Hai said.

Tsunade propped her chin on her hands. "And where were you before that?"

They looked at each other again. "Oh... that's... we were..." Chi thought. "Hai, where were we?"

Hai looked at her strangely. "You don't remember?"

"NO! If you remembered, you should have said earlier! I can't remember ANYTHING from before we woke up in that field!"

There was a long silence. "Oh. You neither?"

"YOU DON'T REMEMBER EITHER?!?!"

"Of course not. You're my brain trust, remember? I have the world's worst memeory. I rely on you to remember things for me." She sighed. "You have failed me!"

Chi grabbed a random stick and began to abuse Hai with it. "Dumbass!" "EEEEK!"

Tsunade blinked. "Um... I take it neither of you remember."

"Oh." Chi turned to face her. "No, Hokage-sama. It's the most peculiar thing. My memory just seemed to fade. I'm guessing that's what happened to Hai here. Although her lost memories are natural- she has bad memory retention- my fading memories are very strange."

The Fifth Hokage thought for a minute. "So you remember nothing of before waking up?"

This time it was Hai who answered. "I don't think that's how it's working, m'lady. We can't remember where we were, or specific things that happpened before we woke up. Something tells me we were different people, maybe? Like, we've changed something about us. But we can remember _things_. Like how we remember that I have a bad memory? And I know Chi is and was my best friend, almost my sister. And foods I like, and things I like... candy, and animals, and reading. I can remember that I'm ultra-phobiac of bugs and needles. I can also remember that Chi is a super-geniuslike writing prodidgy, and she loves live drama, and she goes to a genius school. But who we were, where we were? That's beyond the limits of my memory." She shrugged.

Chi stared. "Hai... that was really deep. Completely out of character."

Tsunade looked to be in deep thought. Then she stood. "Please wait." She left.

Hai and Chi sat in silence for a minute. "That was really accurate, what you said earlier." Chi said.

Hai shrugged. "I kinda just went with what my instinct told me." She looked up. "My God. What am I saying? Instincts? What am I, some animal?" A nervous giggle, and a sigh.

The door opened again. Tsunade reentered, followed by a tall man with long black hair and white, pupil-less eyes. He looked like an older version of Neji.

"...you for this, Hiashi-san." She looked at the two. "Chitomo, Haipa. This is Hyuuga Hiashi, the head of the Hyuuga clan. Hiashi-san, this is Tsubasa Chitomo and Okami Haipa." Noting the confused look on the girls' faces, she explained. "There could potentially be some kind of jutsu at work on your memories. The Hyuuga's Byakugan should be able to see it, if there is."

The veins around Hiashi's eyes became very prominant. "Byakugan!" He looked the two over.

"This feels really wierd..." Chi whispered to Hai.

She nodded in agreement. "I wish at least Neji could've done it. I wouldn't mind so much if _he_ saw more than he was supposed to! He's cute."

Chi punched her arm. "I swear, you are so pervy sometimes..."

Hiashi had finished his examination. "There is something, but... it's undistinguishable, even to my Byakugan. There is some unsteady effect of chakra working on their memories, and I can see it a little against their own chakras." He bowed to Tsunade. "I'm sorry for such little information, Hokage-sama."

Tsunade waved her hand. "Oh well. We deal with oddities like this often in the Leaf..."

There was a knock on the door. "Enter!" Tsunade called.

Shizune poked her head in. "Tsunade-sama, the Kazekage and his entourage are here."

Tsunade sighed. "Ugh, why is he always on time...? Other diplomats and nobles are always fashionably late... Shizune!"

Shizune stood to attention. "Yes Hokage-sama!"

"Get Chi and Hai somewhere where they can stay for a bit- someone's house, perhaps?"

"Hokage-sama... I believe we can help."

Standing at the door were three people- a tall man in a black bodysuit and hood, with purple paint on his face. A blond woman with her hair pulled into a four-leaved style, and wearing a purple kimono-type dress with a breastplate over it. And a red-haired man with red robes and piercing teal eyes. It was the woman that had spoken. "They can stay in the building we've rented. There's only two of them, it shouldn't be much problem."

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2020: Oh gheezy. It's way past 10 PM and I'm watching Naruto and the Stone of Gelel. Been eating Jolly Ranchers all day... sugar high kicking in, whoo hoo!

I'm getting Oni to write me a LeeTen story, even though she doesn't support the pairing! Awww! Isn't having a big sister the greatest?

_NEXT TIME!_

_Another Arrival: A Memory Within a Memory!_


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... just more Naruto merchandise than is healthy for me (or my wallet)

2020: wo0t. I'm just on a roll, eh? Smiles.

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_**Chi and Hai's**__** Wonderful World of Naruto- In Our Minds!**_

_Chapter Three: Another Arrival: A Memory Within a Memory!_

_Standing at the door were three people- a tall man in a black bodysuit and hood, with purple paint on his face. A blond woman with her hair pulled into a four-leaved style, and wearing a purple kimono-type dress with a breastplate over it. And a red-haired man with red robes and piercing teal eyes. It was the woman that had spoken. "They can stay in the building we've rented. There's only two of them, it shouldn't be much problem."_

"Ah. Temari-san. Kankuro-san. Gaara-sama." Tsunade waved them in. "We have other gusts, so.. if Shizune... will get them out..."

Temari the four-leaved breezed into the room. "Oh, but they can stay in our building, Tsunade-sama. We rented a whole building, but there's only three of us. Might as well put that extra space to use. We don't mind... _do we, _brothers?"

The black-hooded man- Kankuro- chuckled. "I certaintly don't mind. Two pretty girls can ALWAYS stay where I am."

Gaara, the Kazekage, didn't even look at them. ".... It is fine."

Tsunade clapped her hands. "Wonderful. That saves Shizune and I some trouble. Thank you."

Chi and Hai pulled off into a small group over by the side of the room. "So whaddya think of this?" Chi whispered.

"Um. I don't know... it's a place to stay, you know? Gift horses and mouths and all..." Hai's gaze kept drifting back towards the newcomers from the Sand. "Interesting group, though, no?"

Chi giggled. "Very ragtag-looking. The girl said brothers, so they're all related?"

"Or it could be, like how you're my sister but not really."

"So, what are you lovely ladies talking about over here?" Kankuro was suddenly between them, with an arm around each girl's shoulder. "And who might you beauties be?"

Chi expertly slipped out of his embrace. "Well, I'm Tsubasa Chitomo, and she-" She pointed at Hai, who had then become the main target for Kankuro's affection. "- is Okami Haipa."

"Uhm..." This was getting uncomfortable for Hai. Kankuro's hand was in a close proximity to her breast. She shot Chi the 'Get-me-the-hell-out-of-here-and-I'll-owe-you-forever' look, who divined it with a look of amusement on her face.

"Easy, big boy." She shoved Kankuro off. "There'll be plenty of time for you to feel up my little sister later."

"AND YOU CALL ME DUMBASS?!?!" Hai located the stick from earlier and began abusing Chi with it.

"Kankuro! Stop scaring them." Temari called. She walked over. "Sorry for my brother's... _advances_. Come on, we'll get you two set up at the Konoha house. In a room on the opposite side from his." She jerked her head towards Kankuro.

"Hey, come on now, Temari... have a heart..." Kankuro had a pleading face on. "Just one...?"

She smacked him in the head. "Don't talk about them like they're things, stupid." She turned back to Chi and Hai. "Anyway. Just ignore him. Come on, the house is this way." She pulled them out the door after Gaara, who had already left.

"Hey, wait up!" Kankuro ran after them.

There was a long silence. "Tsunade-sama, I believe these two are going to cause some commotion for the Sand." Shizune said quietly.

Temari excitedly led her newfound friends to the 'Konoha house'. They went in a chain, Temari pulling Chi, who had a hold of Hai, and somehow Kankuro had grabbed a hold of Hai's hand. Gaara quietly followed, the picture of dignity.

"This is it!" Temari stopped in front of a large, beautiful house. The chain was then broken... except for Kankuro's grip on Hai's hand. "Uhm. Kankuro-san? We're here, you can let go of my hand now..."

"Heh heh. Don't be shy, honey." He let go, but then proceeded to wrap his arm around her waist.

_Okay, when I say 'Let go', that doesn't mean grab me in a different way!_

"Neechama..." Hai called out to Chi.

Chi reached out and pulled her away. "Come on, Hai, I'll bet it's even more pretty inside!" They ran inside after Temari.

"Oh my God, thanks so much, Chi. I swear, he's got enough moves to win a dance contest or something." She called out to Temari, "Yotsuba-chan! So where can we sleep?"

Temari turned and made a face. "Yotsuba... oh, never mind. I'll assume you want the farthest point from my brothers?"

"The loud one especially." Chi answered for both of them.

Temari laughed. "You got it. You two can stay in the rooms next to mine. It's on the top floor. The boys sleep on the bottom floor."

Hai and Chi glomped her. "OH MY GOD, THANK YOU!"

Temari opened the doors to their rooms. They were huge, with lounge areas and giant beds with huge fluffy pillows. Hai's was purple-themed, and Chi's was a light blue color. "They're AMAZING!" Chi gasped.

"It's like a dream room! I've always wanted to sleep in a room like this!" Hai spun around in a circle.

"THANK YOU YOTSUBA-CHAN!" They both called.

"My room is this one here, if you need anything." Temari indicated towards a door with a fan-pattern scroll hanging from it. "Now. Let's have some sisterhood bonding time!" She walked into Hai's room, where Hai lay on her bed and Chi reclined on the couch. Temari took a seat in an armchair. "So, Chi-chan, Hai-chan. Um... tell me. If you could have any kind of food right now, what would it be?"

Chi thought for a minute. "Nothing with meat. Maybe... stir-fry."

"A big, giant steak with two full-racks of ribs and a burger, and maybe some bacon and sausage on the side." Hai didn't even think about it.

Temari blinked. "So... you're a vegetarian?" She asked Chi, who nodded. "I see. I'll make sure to try and acommadate you during meals."

"Is this one of those 'Get-to-know-you-better' Q and A sessions?" Hai asked.

"Hey, I'd like to get to know them better." Kankuro walked into the room, followed by Gaara. The oldest Sand brother sat down next to Hai on her bed. Hai had a look of desperation on her face... then she saw Gaara, standing quietly by the door.

"Gaara-sama!" She jumped up and pulled Gaara over. "Why don't you take a seat... I mean, I wouldn't want you to stand because I wouldn't let you sit or anything..." She shoved him down on the bed, then leaped over to where Chi sat on the couch. Kicking her to one side, Hai sat on the other.

"Anyway, since you're all here, let's discuss dinner plans." Temari made sure she had everyone's atttention before she continued. "The loud blond girl is throwing a 'Welcome Back Sand' party with all of our Konoha friends, so we're going to be heading out for there in a little bit. It's going to be us, and them..." she gestured to Hai and Chi. "... herself, the lazy shadow guy, the fat guy, the pink-haired girl, the hyper toad guy, the bug guy, the dog guy, the painfully shy girl, the feminine-looking guy, the weapons girl, and the green spandex boy. All our old friends."

Chi and Hai looked confused. "Wait, so they know wer'e coming? How?"

"They don't. But we'll make it work, since you're our guests by our own choice." Temari stood. "So I think we should go get ready. Kankuro, Gaara, leave!"

Gaara stood up silently and left. Kankuro was a little more determined to stay. "Aw, come on, sis. I wouldn't mind staying- they probably wouldn't mind me here..."

"OUT!" Temari picked up her brother and threw him out of the room- and impressive feat by anyone's standards. She turned back to Chi and Hai and pointed towards a door on the wall by the lounge area. "That opens into your room, Chi." She told them before exiting herself and shutting the door behind her.

The two sat in silence for a minute. "That weird guy wants you so bad," Chi said.

Hai collapsed facefirst onto her bed. "Ugh! He's really creepy! And he's a pervert too! He wanted to stay in here while we- while _I_- changed- not that we have anything to change into, mind."

Chi shrugged. "I'll bet it's puberty. You know, guys mature later than girls. It's a scientifically proven fact." She looked up. "So, being driven crazy by raging hormones, he'll watch you everywhere you go, noting the curves and shapes of your body, which will drive him even more crazy, and one night, just when you think he's given up, you'll wake up in your bed and he'll be-" she was silenced by a forcefully tossed pillow.

"Did NOT need to imagine that, thank you very much!"

They sat in silence once again.

"Hey... do you get the feeling that we've seen them somewhere before? These three?" Chi voiced a question that had been eating at her for some time now.

Hai put on her thinking face. "Yeah... like, we didn't really know them... but know them from somewhere... but it's too hazy to be a dream... A memory inside of a dream? A memory within a memory?" She shook her head. "What am I saying?"

There was a knock on the door. "It's me," Temari's voice said, "And it's about time to leave."

The two looked at each other. "Well, let's leave this chat for later, little sister." Chi stood. Hai followed suite.

"Let's get ready to meet some more crazies..."

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2020: FINALLY finished... haha I made Kankuro a perv. Don't worry- Hai doesn't end up with him!

Oni's read the previous chapters and the first half of this one... she commanded me to write more!

_NEXT TIME!_

_Meeting Grounds: The Social Network of the Konoha Genin!_


	5. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. NOW LEAVE ME TO CRY IN PEACE!

2020: CHAPTER FOUR! In which Ino throws a party for the Sand siblings (and Chi and Hai)!

_------------------------------------------------_

_**Chi and Hai's**__** Wonderful World of Naruto- In Our Minds!**_

_Chapter Four: Meeting Grounds: The Social Network of the Konoha Genin!_

_There was a knock on the door. "It's me," Temari's voice said, "And it's about time to leave."_

_The two looked at each other. "Well, let's leave this chat for later, little sister." Chi stood. Hai followed suite._

_"Let's get ready to meet some more crazies..."_

The three Sand Village shinobi and their guests, the recently-appeared Chi and Hai, made their way through the village to Ino's house, where a party was being thrown for the Sand siblings. Temari assured the two newcomers that two more people wouldn't make that much of a difference, and that they should meet some more people around the village.

They arrived at Yamanaka Flowers earlier than Ino had asked them to be there. Temari knocked on the door, and a blond-haired, blue-eyed girl answered. "Temari-chan!" She threw open the door. "Kankuro-kun, Gaara-kun! And are these your girlfriends?" She looked behind them at Chi and Hai.

Kankuro chuckled and put his arm around Hai's waist. "NO! Get off of me!" She shoved him away and pointed to herself. "_I_ am Okami Haipa, and _she_-" she pointed at Chi "-is Tsubasa Chitomo."

Ino nodded. "Oh yes, Neji-kun was telling us about you. He, Hinata-chan, Sakura-chan, and Kiba-kun are already here." She grabbed a hold of both Chi and Hai's hands. "I'll introduce you!!!"

Hai and Chi were dragged through the flower shop, up a flight of stairs, down a hallway, and into a sitting room. "EVERYONE!" The four people in the room turned to stare at the excessively loud girl. "These two are the newcomers, Tsubasa Chitomo-" she shoved Chi into the center of the room "-and this is Okami Haipa!" Hai was also thrust to the center.

"Uhm. Hi there." Hai said nervously.

"S-s-so these are t-the girls y-you w-w-were telling us ab-b-bout, N-n-neji-niichan?" A shy sounding girl with short black hair and pupil-less white eyes turned to Neji.

"Hello again," Neji told them coolly.

"Chi-chan, Hai-chan, I'm Haruno Sakura." The pink-haired girl spoke. "I'll take it you already know Neji-kun-" Neji nodded "- and that's Inuzuka Kiba-kun-" she indicated to brown-haired, wild-looking boy who grinned and waved "-and Akamaru is always with him- " a small white dog barked "-and that's Hyuuga Hinata-chan." The shy white-eyed girl smiled nervously. "And in case she didn't bother telling you, that's Ino-pig."

"Who are you calling pig, billboard brow? GRRRR!" The two girls glared daggers at each other, while the Sand shinobi entered. Temari joined Hinata and Neji on the floor, Kankuro went to sit with Chi and Hai who sat on the sofa with Kiba, and Gaara stood quietly in a corner.

Kiba had his hand placed on top of Hai's. "So, your name is Okami? Wolves are beautiful creatures- majestic and vicious all at once." His body was very close to hers as he leaned in to whisper to her. Chi giggled- Hai was starting to blush. Kankuro, pretending not to notice Kiba, put his arm around Hai's shoulder and pulled her closer to him. Kiba frowned, then wrapped his arm around Hai's waist and pulled her closer to _him_. Chi did her best not to burst out laughing at the blankly confused look on Hai's face- she'd never had guys fight over her before. Chi didn't begrudge her any of it- she'd already had a myriad of boyfriends, while Hai had only had one for a few months a couple of years back. Not to mention both Kankuro and Kiba were on the farther side of strange.

"WE'RE HEEEEEREE!"

A blond boy, a fat boy, and a ponytail boy walked into the room. "What a drag..." the ponytail boy sighed.

Sakura turned away from her fight with Ino. "Ah! Naruto-kun, Shikamaru-kun, Chouji-kun, this is Tsubasa Chitomo and Okami Haipa." Chi smiled pleasantly and waved, and Hai waved helplessly from in between Kiba and Kankuro. "Chi-chan, Hai-chan, this is Nara Shikamaru-kun, Akimichi Chouji-kun, and Nara Shikamaru-kun."

"... And me?"

Everyone jumped. They hadn't noticed the boy with sunglasses and white overcoat enter right behind the other three.

"Oh, and this is Auburame Shino-kun." Sakura ammended. They mingled with the rest, Temari continued telling Hinata of cures for shyness made of cactus juice, and Kankuro and Kiba continued fighting over Hai.

After a while, Ino quickly counted heads. "Umm... we're missing..."

"Sorry we're late!" Tenten and Lee dashed into the room.

"Now we're missing no one!"

Neji grinned evily. "And why were you two so late?"

Tenten threw a kunai at him. "Because, Neji, Lee and I were training, and had to go back home to change."

Temari caught on to Neji's game. "Home, singular?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

This was rewarded by another kunai, as Lee protested- "That would be _unyouthful_!"

Ino clapped her hands. "ALRIGHT everyone! We're going to play a game. First, though, I need two guys to sit out, because we need and even number of guys and girls."

"I'll do it." Shino said quietly. Gaara simply waved a hand.

"Alright then! I have fourteen scraps of paper in seven different colors. I need the girls to leave and go downstairs." She waited until they had all left. "Alright guys! I need each of you to pick one scrap of paper." She held out a bowl containing said scraps. Each guy selected one untill there were none left, while Ino averted her eyes. "OK, go downstairs and tell the girls to come back, but don't let them see your scraps, got it?"

They complied, and soon Ino was repeating the same exercise with the girls. The ultimate end result was: Hai with red, Chi with orange, Tenten with green, Temari with purple, Hinata with grey, Sakura with black, and Ino with pink. "Now don't let the guys see them!" She called for the guys to come back, then explained what it was all for.

Ino indicated to a closet door. "We're going to play the old party classic... Seven Minutes in Heaven!" This breaking news was greeted by groans and calls of "Do we have to?", but she ignored them. "The scraps of paper determine who you will be in heaven with. OK, let's start with the color I have... PINK!"

Silence.

Ino blinked. "Does anybody have pink?"

"What a drag..." Shikamaru stood up. Ino squealed and dragged him into the closet while Temari glared at the closed door. Everyone started talking, nervous and excited about who they got to be in heaven with.

"Neechama."

"Eh? What is it, Hai?" Chi looked over at where her little sister had once again been sandwiched between Kiba and Kankuro.

"Tasuke." It was a barely audible whisper.

Chi thought for a minute. Then she mimed drinking something at her.

Hai bightened- She got the idea. She attempted to stand (she knew she couldn't- both boys were holding onto her).

"Hai-chan! What is it? Do you need me to get you anything?" Kiba asked.

She flashed a sweet smile at him. "Oh, no, Inu-kun, I don't want to trouble you, I was just going to get a glass of water."

"I'LL GET IT FOR YOU!" Kiba and Kankuro stood and shouted at the same time. They glared at each other, then raced downstairs to the Yamanaka's kitchen.

"Oh, thank God! It worked, Chi!"

Chi shoved her behind the couch. "Now hide!"

"HAI-CHAAAN!" The boys thundered back into the room. Hai curled up as tightly as she could behind the couch.

"She went out for some fresh air," Chi's voice said. Luckily, in the commotion, no one could tell them otherwise...

_Uh oh_... staring right at her was none other than Gaara. She frantically put a finger to her lips. He nodded, just barely, and looked away.

"Hai." Chi's head appeared over the top of the couch. "They're gone. It's safe now."

"Oh man. Thanks, Chi."

"Don't mention it." Chi turned back towards her conversation with Neji, Temari, and Hinata.

Standing up, Hai slowly walked over to Gaara. "Um... Gaara-sama..." He turned to face her. "Um... thank you for not giving me away."

He looked away again. "It wasn't a problem."

They stood for a bit longer. "So then... um..."

"ALRIGHT!" Ino and Shikamaru stepped out of the closet. Ino's hair was down, and Shikamaru's ponytail was coming out. Both of their clothes were wrinkled. "Heh..." Ino breathed a sigh. "Next color is...grey."

"YEAH! THAT'S MINE, BELEIVE IT!" Naruto jumped up and shouted. He hoped he had gotten Sakura!

"Himmbidyjimminyohoh oooohhhhhhhh........." Hinata muttered incoherently before she passed out.

Everyone was quiet. "She had grey." Temari confirmed.

"So they take a pass for now..." Ino sighed again. "Alright then... let's do purple."

Temari and Chouji stood. Temari stared. "Oh, for the love of... Ino-chan! I don't want to do this anymore!"

"Sorry, Temari-chan. MIND TRANSFER NO JUTSU!" Ino collapsed as her spirit took over Temari's body. "Alright, boys." She said as Temari. "Tie me up." A bunch of the guests helped tie up Temari's body. Ino in Temari's body struggled a little to see if it would hold. It did. "KAI RELEASE!" Ino woke up in her own body. Temari, having been returned in control of her own body, began to thrash wildly as she was thrown into the closet. Chouji followed slowly, afraid for his life if the woman managed to break her bonds.

Ino shut the door. "And that is what happens if you do not just go into the closet."

Chi and Hai were back on the couch. "I hope I don't get anyone creepy..." Hai sighed. "It would be just my luck..."

"Yeah, weird guys are just, like, _magnetized_ to you or something."

Hai punched her in the shoulder. "You're not helping."

They sat for the remainder of the time in silence. Finally, Ino opened the door, and Chouji ran out.

"I think she's just about ready to break those ropes..." He looked frightened as he huddled in a corner.

There was a _SNAP!_ and Temari ran out, and began attempting to abuse Ino. "NEVER AGAIN!"

While Ino was trying not to die, Sakura assumed position as Director of the Game. "OK, mine next! Who has black?"

Neji stood quietly. "It could have been worse," he said as he went into the closet. Sakura followed and shut the door behind them.

"Jealous, Hai?" Chi teasingly poked her friend.

"Eh? Oh, no, I'm much too interested in watching Pig-chan dance with death."

"HAI-CHAN!" She jumped as she was accousted by her two admirers. They both thrust glasses of water at her.

"Eh, um, um... I, ah, had some while I was out."

"I'll bet she would have taken it if you hadn't scared her, doll boy!" Kiba snapped at Kankuro.

"The only one scaring people here is you, dog-star!" Kankuro threw a punch at Kiba. This resulted in a full-scale fight between the two. Hai stared at it with the same mask of blank confusion she had displayed earlier.

Everyone began watching the spectacle the two made of themselves, and betting on the outcome.

"20 bucks on Kiba-kun!"

"My money's on Kankuro-kun, he's much bigger, and stronger too, I'll bet."

Chi listened and watched with mild interest. _OK... who's left? Both of those two, and Lee... Wow. I'm really screwed now, huh?_ She sighed dejectedly.

Hai understood. "Yeah, I know it doesn't look good. For either of us. Me especially, because I have a 66% chance of getting a guy completely obsessed with me (not in a good way), and a 33% chance of Mr. Green Spandex Man."

"And the other 1%?"

"I'll pass out like Hinata-chan."

This though made Chi laugh. Her hard-as-nails little sister had never even come close to passing out, not even feeling dizzy or anything. She endured without tears what made grown men cringe in horror or fear.

The time ticked by quickly. Kankuro and Kiba were still fighting when Neji and Sakura opened the door. Sakura had a dazed look on her face. "Ino-pig... time for the next color."

Ino (who had since had managed to escape Temari) looked around. "Alright... ORANGE!"

Kankuro broke the fight with Kiba. "That's mine!" He looked hopefully at Hai, who shook her head.

"OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEZZZZZZZ!" Chi began hyperventilating. "AAAGH! NOOEZ! NO! I REFUSE! NOOO!"

Ino followed the same procedure she had used on Temari. After returning to her own body, she threw Chi in with Kankuro (who didn't mind- really).

Hai was grateful for Chi's sacrifice, but she was still somewhat screwed. Unless she could figure out a plan to get out...

Suddenly, she was pulled off into a corner by Tenten. "Shh. I know who you're going to be with." She whispered.

Hai looked at her. "Oh my gheezy! Juu-chan! Do I want to know?"

"Juu-chan...? Oh, whatever. It's Kiba."

Kiba... Hai looked over at where Kiba sat on the couch, petting Akamaru. _Wow... he seems really gentle right now..._ Thinking about something, she turned to Tenten. "Wait, how did you know? Did you know that you're getting Midori-kun?"

Tenten twitched- it didn't take many brain cells to know who Hai meant by Midori-kun. "What? I didn't know! That's crazy talk. I picked green merely by coincidence. It had nothing to do with the fact that I knew Lee would pick it- how should I know that? Why would you think that? That's just silly."

Hai nodded knowingly. "Ahhh. I see. You like him." She had to think fast to dodge the barrage of kunai thrown at her head.

There were several large thumps on the closet door. Everyone looked at Neji, who smiled as if laughing at some private joke. "She broke the bonds," he said with a grin, "And his hand is in the wrong place."

There was a muffled cry of 'PERVERT!' and the door slowly opened, revealing Kankuro's bruised body. "Ha ha.... boobs..." he muttered before falling unconcious.

Everyone stare at Chi as she walked out of the closet. "He is a pervert, in case you didn't know." she turned to Hai. "Little sister, don't worry about him anymore. Your onee-chama will protect you."

Ino blinked. "Umm someone move him, and I'll call out the next color!" She waited untill Kankuro's limp body was removed from the scene. "Now then... RED!"

Hai slowly walked to the closet. _This is it..._

"Ya-HOO!" Kiba jumped up and followed her in, shutting the door behind him.

There was a dim light in the closet, allowing Hai to see- but just barely. Kiba had shut the door, and turned around to grin at her. She was starting to spaz a little (a side effect of being in a small space with a kind-of cute guy), and Kiba noticed. "Not claustrophobic, are you?" he said as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. "My Wolf-chan..." he whispered close to her ear.

"Eh, um, Inu-kun, um, um, um... OH!" She was on the floor, with Kiba on top of her, pinning her arms by her head. "Inu-kun! What are y- mmmph!" He silenced her with a kiss, catching her open-mouthed. Paralyzed by God-knows-what, Hai could only lay there as his tounge explored her mouth, and intertwined with her own tounge. After what felt like a lifetime, Kiba released their kiss, grinning and licking his lips.

"Mmm... you taste like pomegranates..." He kissed her neck. "My Wolf-chan..." he repeated. He began kissing her lips again. When she still didn't respond, Kiba sat back, pulling her up. "What's wrong?"

Dazed, Hai tried to focus on what was happening. "Ehm... you and... with the... and mine..."

Grinning again, Kiba layed her back down and resumed his position on top of her, once again pinning her arms by her head. "I see. First time making out, huh?" Hai gave a dazed nod and he grinned wider. "We'll make it a good one, then." Again, his lips pressed hers into a deep kiss.

Meanwhile, back in the Bat-Ca-... I mean, Ino's sitting room... **(A/N: NO! I don't own this... I read it in Naruto Meets Fandom... I didn't plagerise!)**

Neji frowned.

"What is it, Neji-kun?" Chi asked, wondering vaugely if it might have anything to do with the wild look in Kiba's eyes as he had gone into the closet with Hai.

"Inuzuka's been reading those Icha-Icha again, hasn't he?"

Chi jumped up. "WHAT?! ICHA ICHA?! WITH MY LITTLE SISTER?!"

Temari sighed. "Chi-chan! She's, what, a foot taller than you? She can't be that much younger than you- if she really had a problem with Kiba-kun, she'd deal with it- I mean, have you seen those arms she has?... Incidentally, Neji-kun, what _are_ they doing?"

"We can find out ourselves, the seven minutes are up." Ino got up to open the door, then stopped. "Or maybe I shouldn't..." She was just about to reach for the handle when the door to the hallway burst open.

"INO!" Her mother yelled. "I certaintly hope you're not playing that game again! Remember what happened to that girl down the road last time she played it? I think the baby's due next month...!"

"MOM! We aren't playing anything!"

"Then why are you so close to the closet?"

Ino, being a world-class liar, already had a story on hand. "Because, Mom, Kiba-kun had to go home because he forgot treats for Akamaru, and he left his jacket." She motioned, and someone threw Kiba's jacket (which he had left) to her. "We thought it might be funny if we hid the jacket from him."

Ino's mother looked warily at them. "I'll be watching you..." She shut the door on her way out.

After a moment of silence, Ino jerked the closet door open. "Yeah, yeah, break it up!" A shuffling sound, then Kiba walked out, followed slowly by Hai, who went back to the couch and sat down next to Chi. She stared at her little sister, who was gazing off into space with a glazed look in her eye. The younger girl's lips were swollen, and her usually tight high pigtails were messy and drooping.

"Little sister... your hair."

Hai absently ran a hand through her hair. "Oh... yeah..."

"OK, guys, sorry about this, but we're going to have to end the game earlier than expected, because Mom's going to be watching us like a hawk. Anything else we can play?" Ino sighed. Parents ruin everything.

"Ah... I don't know about the guys..." Chi called, "But we could play with Hai's hair. Heaven knows there's enough for everyone to play with."

All the girls perked up. Being normal girls (except for the being-ninja and killing people part), they loved to play with hair. "Will she mind?"

"Nope." Chi pulled the elastics out of Hai's hair...

...which cascaded down many feet.

"Holy crap! It's longer than Neji-kun's!!!"

Neji glared at Hai.

All the girls gathered around her with brushes (magically appeared out of nowhere...). "WE WILL NOW HAVE SISTERHOOD BONDING TIME!" Ino yelled, and all but threw the guys out. Shutting the door behind her, she walked back over to the couch.

"Haha, did you see Neji-kun's face when he realized that Hai's hair is longer than his?" Sakura chuckled.

"I never though I'd see the day when the person who has the longest hair is male." Chi shook her head. This statement caused an uproar of laughter from everyone. Except Hai, who was completely unresponsive to anything going on around her.

Temari smild slyly. "So, Hai-chan, good game?"

"Eh? Oh. Yotsuba-chan. Everyone? What are you all... Hey! Why's my hair down?" Finally snapped out of her confusion, Hai looked around. "Eh? Where's all the guys? What happened?" She looked so confused that it took extreme force of willpower for everyone not to laugh.

"Well, Neji got mad when he saw how long your hair was, and we all decided to throw them out while we had quote 'sisterhood bonding time' unquote." Tenten said, pulling the brush through a length of Hai's hair.

"Eh? Juu-chan. Did you have a nice time with Midori-kun?"

"Uhhmmm..." Tenten stalled. "Well, um. You see, Hai-chan, we had to stop playing after your... turn."

Temari elbowed Tenten. "Hey, yeah! I totally didn't realize that Tenten-chan was supposed to go in with Lee-kun."

Eevryone gathered around Tenten, Hai's hair forgotten.

"So, Ten-chan, are you relieved that you didn't have to go in with him?"

"Heh, or are you sad?"

"Ummm..." Tenten's mind raced. "O-of course I'm relieved. Pfft. I mean, it's _Lee_ we're talking about."

It was quiet, and everyone noticed that Hinata had activated her Byakugan.

Smiling, without even a hint of stutter that was so characteristic of her, Hinata said: "She lies."

"EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!" The entire group glomped first Hinata ("WE LOVE THE BYAKUGAN!!"), then Tenten ("ZOMG! I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED!"), while Hai asked, "You guys didn't know?"

"How did you know, Hai-chan?!?" Sakura asked in surprise.

Hai shrugged. "Um. It was _really_ obvious."

Everyone sweatdropped. "I thought I was hiding that better than that..." Tenten muttered.

"Anyway." Ino turned her attention back to Tenten. "You need to tell him!"

"But... I mean... what if-"

"If you're about to say 'what if he doesn't like you back', don't even bother, because no offense, but he shouldn't be picky about who he goes out with." Temari said. "I mean, green spandex and bowl cuts? Social disaster..."

"Temari-chan! How can you say that? He makes it work really well. It's so..." Tenten trailed off. "Um. Um..."

"Aww! You're so in love... so cute!" Sakura chuckled.

There was a pause. And ever the more perverse of any group, Hai had to ask...

"So if you two went in the closet, would you have gone, like, all the way? Sans clothes and all?"

"HAI!" Chi jumped on top of her. "That was too much! _Children_ present!" She pointed to Hinata.

"Umm... I'm the same age as you..."

Everyone stared at Hai. Ino stole sidelong glances at Tenten. "So... would you have...?"

Tenten had turned a vivid shade of red at Hai's question, and further deepened the blush at Ino's. "WHAT?!?!"

"Alright then, everyone! We have a new mission!" Sakura called. "Operation LeeTen!"

Everyone cheered, except Tenten, who protested wildly.

"What?! Where did that come from? Don't turn me into a project... NO! NO WAY! I will not tell him!"

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2020: Holy camolly. This thing is really long! If you read the whole thing, you deserve a cookie!

Haha, Shino was pretty much nonexistant here... sorry, Shino fans! (that is an oxymoron!)

Kankuro just vanished to nowhere in the middle...

And all the guys have pretty much fallen off the face of the Earth.

Hai's Nicknames:

Temari is Yotsuba-chan, Yotsuba meaning four-leaved, in honor of her hairstyle.

Kiba is Inu-kun, Inu being dog, for obvious reasons.

Tenten is Juu-chan, Juu meaning ten (as in the number), because I like making fun of her name.

Lee is Midori-kun, Midori being green, again for obvious reasons.

Kiba calls Hai Wolf-chan, because her surname, Okami, means wolf.

And Neechama, which Hai calls Chi, is Big Sister.

2020: Anyway. I'm doing my best to make this an epic story (15+ chapters)! So if you have any ideas for me (because I chronically suffer writer's block), please share!

I told Oni that she got in the closet with Kankuro... she completely hated me!

_NEXT TIME!_

_Operation LeeTen? The Girls Get Serious!_


	6. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Sigh... I don't own Naruto... But I do own Chi and Hai!

2020: Haha... Don't expect me to live up to the amazing length of Chapter Four in this chapter... And it's late so I'm being really stupid...

_------------------------------------------------_

_**Chi and Hai's**__** Wonderful World of Naruto- In Our Minds!**_

_Chapter Five: Operation LeeTen? The Girls Get Serious!_

_"Alright then, everyone! We have a new mission!" Sakura called. "Operation LeeTen!"_

_Everyone cheered, except Tenten, who protested wildly._

_"What?! Where did that come from? Don't turn me into a project... NO! NO WAY! I will not tell him!"_

"ANYWAY!" Tenten shouted. "Back to my original point: What if he doesn't like me back?"

"That is why we will make you IRRESITABLE!" Ino danced around, nursing a new idea- of a...

"MAKEOVER!" Temari and Sakura shouted.

"WHAT?!"

"YEAH!" Ino was really getting into it. "You all can sleep over here. And we can go shopping tomorrow, and we can get our hair done, and our nails... and we can- OH! Hah... It's a surprise!" She whispered to Temari and Sakura, who yelled their enthusiasm.

Hinata, Chi, and Hai sat quietly towards the fringe of the excitement, watching the madness unfold. "You guys ever get the feeling that you're being ignored?" Chi said.

Hinata nodded wisely. "I-it h-h-happens to me a-all the t-t-t-t-time."

"Eh. Flailing off the face of the Earth."

"You mean falling, Hai."

"Eh. Whatever."

"WHAT?! No! I can't stay here! I don't have anything, pajamas or clothes for tomorrow..." Tenten was scrambling for any excuse to get away.

"It's OK! I have spare nightclothes, and we can just put the clothes your wearing now through a wash cycle!" Ino jumped up and ran out of the room, yelling for her mother.

Temari and Sakura were snickering at whatever Ino had told them earlier, and Tenten glared at them. "Tell me, or knock it off!" She yelled.

"OK, yeah, here we go!" Ino ran back into the room with a handful of clothes, presumably pajamas, and distributed them among her friends. "We can get changed in here, seeing as how we all have the same womanly parts." She slipped into her pajamas, and the others followed suite.

"Let's play truth or dare!" Ino yelled after they had all changed.

"Haven't we had enough of these kinds of games?" Chi called.

"NEVER! We can start with you, then, Chi-chan."

Relief flooded through Tenten.

"OK, who wants to ask?"

"I'll do it!" Temari said. "Alright then, Chi-chan, Truth or Dare?"

"I refuse to play this asinine game!"

Hai scribbled something on a piece of paper. "Eh... tr... th... THERE!" On the paper she had written: I **r**ef**u**se **t**o play **th**is asinine game. "See, if you rearrange the r, and the u, and the h, and the two ts, she totally said truth."

After a pause, Temari got back into it. "So, Chi-chan, if you had a choice, whose baby would you have?"

"WHAT?!" Chi had jumped up in shock.

"Heeeey, nice one, Yotsuba-chan." Hai and Temari exchanged high-fives.

"Hold on, Temari-chan," Sakura said. "Chi-chan and Hai-chan have only been here for about a day. They've barely met any guys. That question hardly seems fair."

Everyone turned to the two newcomers, remembering for the first time in a while that they hadn't even been in the Leaf for 24 hours.

"Hey, yeah, she's right!" Hai remembered too. "I just remembered that we havn't been here for long."

"Wooow, genius." Chi patted her on the back. Nevermind the fact that she kind of, um, forgot as well.

"Hmm. That kind of hinders the game a bit." Temari mused. "Um... What can we do now?"

"Nothing." Ino sighed.

"Well, I fail to see how that's a bad thing, seeing as how you're all perverted!" Tenten said.

After a slightly long argument and a few catfights, the girls decided to go to sleep so they could get up early and kick-start Operation LeeTen. Temari slept on the couch, Hinata was in some corner somewhere, Ino sprawled into a rather uncomfortable-looking position on an armchair, Hai fell out cold in the middle of the floor, Chi curled up a few feet away, Tenten selected the farthest point from everyone else in the room, and Sakura had found a bunch of blankets in Ino's room and made herself a makeshift bed.

"Ca-CAW! Ca-CAW! Ca-CAW!"

"Ehwha, wherezafire?" Sakura shot out of her blanketed sleep, as did everyone else.

Temari began swearing. "...Damn bi-" She stopped, as everyone stared at Hai sitting by the window.

Doing bird calls.

At six-thirty in the morning.

"Eh? Oh. Mornin' all!" She turned and said brightly, just noticing the skeptical and angry looks.

"Hai..." Chi staggered into a sitting position. "What... in the hell..."

"Um. Well, I woke up early and thought I should try some bird calls. You know, to keep in practice. Ca-CAW! See? I sound just like a whatever-it-was bird or the other."

"OK, no! Whatever the hell you were thinking, it was NOT a good idea to do bird calls at six-thirty in the morning while six other girls are trying to sleep! And what are you doing up? You're the girl who sleeps, on average, twelve hours a night!"

Hai shrugged. "It's the insomnia phase. I am an inconsistant insomniatic. Either I sleep really well for a LONG time, or I sleep poorly. Very poorly. If at all. It's about a ninety-seven-to-three ratio."

"However interesting this is..." Sakura rubbed her eyes. "It doesn't change the fact... that it is six-thirty... and you woke all of us up by doing bird calls..."

"Cheese follows the way of stars and dances in yonder pumpkin field... I LOVE YOU NARUTO-KUN...!"

Everyone turned from Hai to Hinata. They assumed she had a glazed look in her eyes- seriously, who could tell if she did?- but the dreamy smile and slightly slurred, stutterless speech gave them the impression she was sleep-talking. They all sweatdropped as she jumped up and began spinning around.

"Umm... Hinata-chan?" Ino grabbed her arm, and Hinata snapped into consciousness.

"Wh-what? W-wh-what's g-going on?" She looked around, confused.

"Um, Hinata-chan, I don't know what it is you dream about..." Tenten had a slightly worried expression on her face. "... But I don't think I want to know."

"Anyway... back to the original idiot- I mean, issue..." Chi grabbed Hai by her collar. "Going unpunished this will not be."

Temari's ears perked up at this. "I do enjoy imposing punishments. Hmmm. What shall we make you do, Hai-chan?"

Hai sweatdropped as everyone grinned maliciously at her and rubbed their hands together, evil mastermind-like.

"It should be something really bad, since she woke us up so early."

"Maybe to do with a guy?"

"Hmm, maybe Kiba-kun? After last night and all..."

Hai blinked. "Eh? Kiba... Oh, that's the Inu-kun with the little white dog, who wouldn't leave me alone. I remember him! What about him?"

Once again, everyone stared at her.

"Um, Hai-chan?" Chi sounded worried. "Have you kicked in early to Alzheimer's **(A/N: yes, even ninja get alzheimer's)**?"

"Eh. Alzheimer's? I don't think so. Why?"

"OK, let me ask you this first: What did we do last night?"

Hai frowned. "We were at a party here, at Ino-chan's house."

"And at the party...?"

Her brow furrowed in thought. "Um. Inu-kun and Kankuro-kun wouldn't leave me alone. And you hid me from them. And people were talking. And we gossiped about how hideous Sakura's hair color is-"

Sakura jumped up. "WHAT?!"

"I mean um, how unique and refreshing pink hair is."

Chi took a deep breath. "And what did we _do_ at the party?"

"Um. Inu-kun and Kankuro-kun wouldn't leave me al-"

"I KNOW!!" Chi almost screamed. "I mean, yes, Hai, I know, you've already said. What specific party game did we play?"

"Um. Twister!"

She took a deep breath. "No."

"Clue."

"No."

"Poker."

"No."

"DDR X-treme."

"No..."

"Legos."

Chi grit her teeth. "No, Hai..."

Hai scratched her head. "Umm... Oh! I've got it. Spam-sculpting contest!"

"What the-? NO! Where did that even come from?"

By this point everyone had sweatdropped again and began to worry very deeply about Hai's sanity.

Finally, Chi snapped. "ZOMG HAI! NO! Alright? NO! Are you listening?"

Hai looked startled. "Eh-h? Yes, yes, Neechama!"

"Last night... we played Seven Minutes in Heaven. And you went into the closet with the dog guy. I really don't know what you did in there, but you came out all dazed. And whatsisface Mr. Doggie had a very um, _wild_ look in his eyes."

There was an uncomfortable silence as Hai stared blankly at Chi, processing this newfound information.

"WHAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

People in the five-mile-radius surrounding Ino's house jumped at the sudden, loud shriek.

The girls felt as if their eardrums had burst.

"Holy sh- Hai-chan!" Temari rubbed her ears. "That was almost ultrasonic!"

Hai, meanwhile, had started hyperventilating. "Eh... but... so... Inu... closet... eh... heaven... and the... me... EHHHH?!?! KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Everyone continued to stare.

"Ummm..." Sakura looked at Chi. "That was, like, four minutes without her taking a single breath."

Hai had started going into violent spasms of some sort; laughter, tears, or hysterics? It was hard to tell.

"WAAHHHHH! Neechama... Neeeechaamaaaaa...! -hic- He...-hic- and -hic- I... first, -hic- though... -hic my fih -hic- fih -hic- fih -hic-..." She jumped up. "HE STOLE MY FIRST KISS!" She then broke down into sobs once again.

"Wait, so, how old is she again?" Ino pointed to the hysterical girl.

Chi sighed. "She's fifteen. Same as all of you, I'll guess. I'm sixteen."

Ino, Sakura, and Hinata nodded, while Tenten said, "I'm sixteen too."

And Temari was the oldest, **(A/N: Just went to check my Naruto Fan Guide book thingy)** at eighteen (2 years older then Tenten, who is a year older than Naruto's contemporaries).

BACK TO THE PLOT, THANK YOU

"Holy pigs! She's fifteen and never been kissed?!" Ino was shocked. Tenten, Sakura, and Hinata all shifted uncomfortably. Ino stared. "You three neither?! What about you?" She whirled to Temari, who grinned.

"Born heartbreaker," she said, pointing to herself.

Ino turned to Chi, who shrugged.

"A few times."

Ino turned back to the other three. "We're going to have to do something about you three, then..." she muttered.

Temari stood up. "Hey, I don't know about all of you, but I think we should get back to the original point- Hai-chan's punishment!"

This eased the worried expression on most of the girls' faces.

"Shouldn't we do something about her first?" Sakura pointed to Hai, who was still hysteric... isizing.

"Oh, she'll be fine." Chi rubbed her temples. "She woke up early so I predict she'll fall asleep in T-minus ten seconds." The next glance at Hai revealed Chi's prediction to be truthful. "Toldja so."

"Alright then," Temari said, disregarding the strangeness that had thus far been their entire day, "Punishment for Hai-chan."

"Right." _As long as it's not me..._ Tenten would comply, thankful it wasn't her.

"So, Chi-chan, what should it be?" Ino asked. "I mean, you know her best, and what she hates and can't do and stuff."

Chi thought. "Well... if it's something like eating a ridiculous amount of food, or throwing herself down a flight of steps, or Sharpieing 'Free Hugs!' on her forehead, that wouldn't work, because she does things like that anyway. Anything that could potentially cause her physical harm, people to stare at her strangely, or something that extends beyond the limits of normal humans. But she's very bad at dealing with her own emotions, board games, balancing, and cleaning things."

It was quiet for a minute.

"We don't have to think about it now." Sakura said. "We can think of it later..." she looked puposefully at Tenten. "You know, _while we're out shopping_."

"Oh yeah! That was the whole original purpose for today." Ino jumped up. "Our clothes should be through the wash cycle by now! Someone wake her up." She nudged the unconcious Hai with her foot before leaping out of the room, presumably to get the clothes.

"She didn't have to be that gentle." Chi said, walking over to Hai. She delilvered a swift kick to the sleeping girl, who shot up, yelling incoherently. Hai blinked and looked around, her gaze finally resting on Chi.

"Neechama..." tears shone in the corner of her eye. "It's true...? Me and Inu-kun...?"

Chi nodded. "I'm sorry, Hai."

"The clothes!" Ino came back into the room with a pile of clothes.

After everyone had changed, and a leash and collar had been placed on Tenten, the girls headed out. Chi and Hai had never been shopping in the Leaf, and Ino and Sakura had prepared a _grande shoppe tour_ for them, a route passing most of the best stores in the village.

"So most of you know, except you two, that the annual Seven Days of Celebration is in a few days." Sakura said. "It's a seven-day celebration-"

"DUH!"

"Shut it, pig! Anyway, it's a week-long celebration we hold every year to celebrate Tsunade-sama becoming Hokage. It may seem a little self-centered, but it's really just an excuse to have a long holiday. Every year six new themes are selected for the days- the last one is always the Celebration Day."

"Tsunade-sama always announces the themes on the day before the first celebration, which is the day after tomorow," Ino told the two newcomers.

Sakura grinned. "Ino-pig, you forget who is Tsunade-sama's apprentice is. I know for a fact the six themes this year!"

After much begging and pleading, she finally gave in. "The first day is Animal Day, to dress up as an animal. Then Hero Day, to dress up as your hero. Food Day. Siamese Twin Day. Competiton Day, which is like a sports festival. Finally, Lovers Day. And this year there is an added twist- you can enter a 'Best Team' contest, but you have to pick a partner for the whole week, to dress up with you. You don't have to, but if you do, you have to have to same partner all week. So try to pick one, you know, of the opposite gender, or else you'll spend Lovers Day with a girl. Unless you like that kind of thing, of course. Whichever team wins the most points at the end of the week gets to be the Star Couple on Celebration Day."

"So, what if you don't have the same partner all week?" Temari asked.

"You're disqualified."

Hai thought for a minute. "So if you don't want to dress up, you don't have to."

"Correct."

"And if you want to dress up, but not with anybody, that's OK too."

"Yes. But you won't be able to participate in the 'Best Team' contest."

"So, can you explain what Siamese Twin Day is?" Chi was curious.

"Basically, Siamese Twin Day is where you have to connect yourself somehow to your partner for the entire day."

"And what's with Food Day?"

"It's pretty much an eating contest day."

Temari tugged on Tenten's leash. "And we are making sure she will spend the week as Lee-kun's partner."

Sakura grinned an evil grin. "Without a doubt. Which brings us back to the plot..." The girls stopped in front of a large building with a large sign reading, 'VIANCA: Clothes for All Occasions'.

"Vianca-san has one of the best selections of clothes in all the Leaf!" Ino squealed, jumping into the store.

The inside was like... a warehouse. The single cavernous room was stocked almost beyond capacity with every type of clothing article imaginable, in every color, pattern, and style know to humanity- and some only known to dolphins.

"First on the list of things to do is: Get Lee-kun to ask Ten-chan to be his partner." Sakura told them. "So we have to make her as irresistable as possible. I'll get Vianca-san."

"Ahn' no need to go'n'get me, Sakurah-chan." A beautiful woman with marigold-blond hair braided to her waist appeared next to Sakura. She had coal-black eyes that reflected every light shone near them, and thin ruby-red lips. "Ah'm already heeyah."

"Vianca-san! You remember Temari," Vianca nodded, and Sakura pointed Chi and Hai. "And these two are Tsubasa Chitomo and Okami Haipa."

Vianca held out her hand to them, shaking first Chi's hand, then Hai's. "Chee-chan, Haai-chan... what luhvely names. Ah'm Vellella Vianca. So wheeyah ah you frum?"

Chi and Hai hadn't prepared for this. What to say? Their story was too wierd, too long...

"Oh, they're Ten-chan's cousins from the... outskirts of the Land of Fire." Sakura covered quickly.

"Oh, Teyn-chan's cousins, how nahce... Speekin' of, is that you taaied up theya, Teyn-chan?"

"Vianca-san, Ten-chan has a boy she likes and we're trying to get her to be so pretty that he'll ask her to be his partner to the Celebration."

"Ah mahykovah! Luhvely!" She tured around and shouted, "VIOLA! VALENCIA! VANESSA! VALARIE! VIVIAN! VERONICA! VIVACE!"

Almost immediately, seven girls appeared.

Dark red hair and brown eyes, the tallest: "Hi, I'm Veronica Velox."

Strawberry blonde and pale brown eyes, second-tallest: "I'm Vivian Velox."

Shortest with wild, buff-yellow hair and golden brown eyes: "Valarie Velox, is me!"

Slightly taller than her, pale yellow hair and deep brown eyes: "I'm Vanessa... Velox..."

Same height as her, dark yellow hair and mischeivious blue eyes: "Vivace Vauxhall, at your service."

Same height as Vivian, with Vianca's hair color and deep blue eues: "I am Viola Vellella."

And slightly sorter than her, again with Vianca's hair color and deep green eyes: "And I happen to be Valencia Vellella!"

Vianca smiled. "Viola ahn' Valencia ah mah little sistahs; Veronica, Vivian, Valarie, ahn' Vanessa are all sistahs, cousins to us, ahn' Vivace is ahlso ah cousin."

Vianca Vellella, Viola Vellella, Valencia Vellella, Veronica Velox, Vivian Velox, Valarie Velox, Vanessa Velox, and Vivache Vauxhall. Enough to give one a headache, no? It's murder on the fingers, let me tell you.

"Guhrls, Teyn-chan needs ah mahykovah to impress ah boy! Ahn' the reyst of theym need 'Nawtice Meh' ah-fits. Nahw, Veronica-"

"HOLD IT!" Tenten yelled. "I do not need a makeover! I do not want a makeover! I will not have a makeover!" She began struggling against her collar and leash.

Ino leaned closer to her. "We'll let you go, Tenten-chan, if and only if you swear on your honor as a kunoichi that we can give you a makeover for Celebration Day. And just get you some new outfits for the days untill the Celebration starts."

Tenten thought it over. The Celebration Day was more than a week away. That was plenty of time for suicide or to run away. Plus, they'd probably forget in four days. She nodded.

Vianca and the other Vs sighed. "Suhm peopahl." She muttered. "Ah wehll. Y'all hayve chore t'do! Git to it!" As quickly as they had come, Viola, Valencia, Veronica, Vivian, Valarie, Vanessa, and Vivache dispersed. Vianca turned back to the girls. "Nahw theyn, what ah' ya'll lookin' fawr?"

Temari spoke this time. "Um... let's see. Three outfits for Tenten-chan, one slightly formal, one more casual, the other can be whatever. And one slightly formal each for the rest of us."

Vianca nodded, studying each of them. "Hmm. Hmmmmm. Ahlraht. Ah think Ah've gaht it." She dashed away.

"So, Hai-chan, Chi-chan, how do you like Vellella Vianca?" Ino asked.

Chi and Hai blinked. "She's um... well..." Chi tried to think of describing words for her, and failed.

Sakura laughed. "Yeah, that's Vianca-san."

"Ki-chan! What is she doing?" Hai asked.

Sakura blinked. "Ki-chan...? Oh, whatever. She's gone to find the best clothes to flatter our figures and look the best on us."

"Heeyah we go!" She was back. "Sakurah-chan, Eeno-chan, Tehmahri-chan, Hinahtah-chan **(A/N: yeah, Hinata's still there!)**, Chee-chan, Haai-chan, and three fawr you, Teyn-chan."

Sakura reached into her pocket. "I've got this, guys. But you have to buy food." She paid.

Hai was confused. "Wait, don't we need to try it on or something?"

Ino laughed. "There's no need. Vianca-san can always find something that you'll love. Trust us."

So they walked out with their new outfits. After making Tenten change into the more casual outfit.

"I don't see what the point is!" She complained in her new clothes.

It was a silky top that was tighter on the top, highlighting her breasts. It was gold-and-brown with purple patterns on top of it. The bottoms were a pair of tight black pants. They would have done her hair, but she threatened them with death if they tried- and some instinct told them she wasn't kidding-, so her hair remained in her signature chigons.

"Tenten-chan, you look hot, so shut up and stop complaining!" Temari tugged the leash.

"And I don't see why I have to wear this stupid thing!"

"So you don't run away." Sakura told her. "Oh, look, there's some of the guys..."

Walking by the Ameguriama, they saw Shikamaru, Chouji, Neji, Lee, and Naruto. Tenten began struggling against her lead, in vain.

Ino waved. "Hi guys!"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "What a drag. It's the Spaz Queen. Come to throw us out of the shop here?"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY, YOU LAZY GOOD-FOR-NOTHING?!?!"

He sighed. "What a drag..."

"Tenten? Are you on... a leash?" Lee asked, Neji trying not to laugh. "And is that a new shirt? It looks nice on you," he said sincerily.

"No, Lee, this is a new piano." Tenten snapped, then immediately felt sorry. "Um. I mean... argh. Sorry, Lee. Some _idiot_ or the other woke us all up really early today," she said with a glare at an oblivious Hai.

"Would it happen to have anything to do with the shriek at about six-forty-five this morning?"

She sighed. "No... earlier than that, even." Lee reached over to pat her shoulder, and Neji suddenly erupted into laughter. Everyone stared at Neji and his display of OOCness until he calmed himself.

"Ah ha... sorry. It's just that this morning I saw a brown dog in a gold-and purple shirt, and it had little bobbed ears." Everyone imagined it. In their minds' eyes, they saw Tenten as she was now morph into a little dog. It got a chuckle out of most everyone. Well, except Lee.

"I do not see what is so funny," he said, frowning.

"They're imagining me as a dog, I imagine." Tenten muttered.

Lee jumped into the middle of everyone. "How can you all see Tenten as a dog? She looks very beautiful!" As soon as this statement registered in their brains, both he and Tenten turned violent shades of red. Which caused everyone to laugh harder. Except for Hai. But that was only because she was paying no attention at all.

"HEY!"

Everyone turned at her sudden outburst. She pointed at a little brown dog.

Wearing a gold-and-purple shirt with little bobbed ears.

With an excited bark, it ran over to Tenten and jumped into her arms.

"Ten-chan, that's just scary." Sakura chuckled.

"It looks exactly like her!" Ino was laughing harder.

Neji was pretty much beyond the point of hysterics.

Chouji was laughing, artfully not choking on his dumplings as he did so.

Shikamaru only sighed.

Hinata... was somewhere. I think she ran away when she saw Naruto.

Who was also laughing very hard.

Temari had to sit down before she fell down, she was laughing so hard.

Chi was doing her best not to laugh- it was rude, after all. However, she was failing miserably.

"I don't see it." Hai was confused. "What's so funny? It's a dog. A dog. BECAUSE it is a dog..." And then she burst out laughing. "I see it now!"

And Lee? Well, he was keeping to the fringe of the excitement after his last outburst.

A lady soon came up to claim the dog. When she saw it in Tenten's arms, everyone could tell that she was doing her best not to laugh. "Oh... oh my." The lady said with a faint giggle. "Tenken, have you found yourself a twin?"

That, and the look of sheer horrification on Tenten's face, made everyone go into another fit of hysterics.

Tenten was still looking shocked after the lady- and Tenken- had left.

"I look like a dog... I look like a dog..." When Lee came up to try and comfort her, she grabbed him by his shoulders and shook him violently. "ITS NAME, LEE! THE NAME! IT WAS NAMED TENKEN! IT LOOKED JUST LIKE ME AND IT WAS NAMED TENKEN!"

Hai struggled to stand. "Oh... hahahah... OK... heheh... no more... heh... no more... oh, my sides..." Soon they had all regained their cool. Except for Naruto- you can't regain what you never had.

"So what are you all doing here?" Shikamaru- who hadn't been laughing in the first place- was leaning on the wall of the Ameguriama.

"We were giving Te-" Temari clapped a hand over Ino's mouth.

"We were just teeelling Chi-chan and Hai-chan about the best places to shop. And getting new clothes."

"What are _you_ doing here?" Sakura returned the question.

Shikamaru shrugged. "Well, after Ino threw us out last night, we decided to have a man-party at Naruto's house. Your brothers," he turned to Temari, "didn't come. Shino actually kind of vanished, and Kiba went to his own house. So when we woke up this morning, we went for a bit of a walk, then stopped here to eat. By the way, did any of you have anything to do with the loud shriek we heard at around six-forty-five?"

All the girls turned to stare at Hai, who was deep in thought.

"But if you guys were having a man-party, wouldn't you need men first?"

The girls were- once again- in hysterics, and if looks could kill, Hai would have been dead five times over.

"Diss!"

"That was way mean, Hai-chan!"

"... But completely true...!"

After taking a few minutes to get themselves under control, the girls were fine.

"OK... OK. Serious thoughts now." Sakura breathed. "Now then. Are you guys ready for the Celebration?"

"Of course! BELEIVE IT!"

"Any idea who you're going to ask to be your partner?"

Four quick glances at an oblivious Hai. Five voices, "No."

"Well, you have until the Announcement Day. That's the day after tomorrow." Sakura reminded them.

"Let's hope Tsunade isn't drunk this year..."

They all shuddered.

Suddenly, there was a puff of smoke, and a tall figure emerged.

"HOLY CUMQUATS!" Hai yelled. "SPACE INVADERS FROM THE PLANET XITERON!"

-----------------------------------------------

2020: YAYZ! It is totally long again!

I _told_ you I was being stupid...

But I absofreakinglutely loved Tenken! _That_ is quality humor there, folks!

Hinata was more or less nonexistant there.

Hai's Nicknames (again)

Ki-chan, her nickname for Sakura. Ki means tree, and Sakuras are cherry blossom trees.

_NEXT TIME!_

_Jonin Madness: Chi Appeals Better to Older Guys!_


End file.
